Thursday, March 8, 2012

He's not a 'baby' anymore

Thank you so much for your thoughts and encouragement in my last post.  God heard my prayers and yesterday morning I got a call to a new end.ocrinologist that I requested my family dr. a referral to, and I managed to get in later this morning for an appointment (next one is in June!) 

Hope she is the right person to guide me through to close to perfect health again soon. 

Now in the last post, it was all about me.  What I neglected to say was that I am completely and utterly baffled that each day I look at my son and see how much he changes day to day. He's growing taller and taller, and the other day I saw the beginnings of a run. Yes, my little E, my Sprout baby, is now officially a toddler. His vocabulary is still not so expansive, his favourite (and in the past week only) word is car.  He points to cars on the streets, highways, books, toys, stickers - anywhere he can find a car he will point to it and say caaa-ar! I am not sure we are doing nearly enough to help along with his words but I am sure it will all come out one day and then that day I'm going to wish this stage lasted a bit longer.  He is such a smart boy, like, REALLY smart (I know, mother's bias) - I can tell him to pick up his toys, go get your panda, go drink some water from your sippy cup, can you find me your ball, what about your 'first words' book - and he is bang on, every time. So proud and so happy that although he can't verbalize to us yet, he can pretty much understand what we are saying to him. 

He's been doing really well at my mom's during the day.  We had one panic attack situation about a month ago when I was in an all-day workshop in an area of the building with poor cell phone reception. I talked to E and my mom at noon before heading back in, and thought nothing of it to put my purse (on silent) in my purse underneath my chair.  When I checked the phone at the end of the coffee break, I was so shocked and worried to see 5 missed calls, text messages from my husband (on both text and whats.ap.p), emails, etc.  Apparently out of no where, E started screaming and crying and clutching his belly - and he was inconsolable. My mom tried everything to comfort him and to help him calm down but NOTHING was working and she started to worry that something was terribly wrong.  She tried calling me several times and couldn't get a hold of me so she called my dad at work and he called my husband.  Luckily DH was able to cancel his meetings and catch the next train up (it's about 15 mins express +10 min drive to my parents) and by the time I rushed out of work and called them, he had finally stopped crying (this was going on for 2 hours without me having a clue) and my hubby was putting him down for a nap after he was absolutely exhausted. 

You cannot even imagine how horrible I felt.  As a mother, for the first time, I wasn't there for my baby when something was wrong.  I wasn't able to be there for my mom either, in a situation where she counted on me.  It was just an awful feeling in my gut that at that moment, I didn't care at all about work, and even said to myself - this is not worth it. I know I won't be able to be there for him all the time (think about school, sleep overs, etc down the road) but it has never happened that I was that much out of reach and touch. I blamed myself for not having the phone on my lap and on vibrate. I blamed myself for not checking my phone the minute we took the break during the workshop. 

Later that evening, E started getting the chills after his bath and developed a fever, throwing up everything, the works. We had an awful night all around and we called our emergency line to ask for help and see if we should be taking him to the ER.  Thankfully it turned out that it may have been a stomach virus and the next day he was weak but definitely in better spirits.  Very scary, and very helpless watching your baby suffer or be in pain. 

Other than that episode, E generally is a very happy baby and sleepwise, he's still doing 11-12 hours straight a night, with the odd wake up here and there but he settles back into sleep within minutes by himself. We still have not weaned him off the bottle (he has 3 bottles of homo milk a day - one when he wakes up, one at early afternoon, and one at bedtime.) I am very scared to take the bottle away because he loves it so much and he is still eating his solids well. I think I will try doing 1 less a day and replace it with milk with his meals slowly - but I really am not looking forward to the resistance (or maybe I'm making it a bigger deal than it is?)

Here are some pics over that last few months of my lil' monster: 

SMOOCHES - Aug 2011
  E and I went to our first wedding 'solo' - daddy had to work

Canadian Thanksgiving, Oct 2011 
 Colouring at Chalet
At a friend's birthday party at a play place
 Being silly at home
 Last weekend Mommy and E went to a women and babies only baby shower 

See how much he's changed?! 



Friday, March 2, 2012

Where do I begin...

First off, no, I am not pregnant again - in fact, a bit far from it. 
Before I scare any of you, I am doing ok, Elliott is doing amazing and changing every day.  But alas, I have some not so great news to share. 

Around early summer last year, I started getting alot of comments from my hubby, friends and family, about how skinny I'd become, I was wearing shorts (and I never have, since I was 15), and buying new clothes because nothing, not even my pre-pregnancy clothes, would fit.

I attributed it to running around chasing E, and of course, not really putting myself first when it came to eating properly.  I never picked up exercising regularly like I used to (the last time was likely when E was about 6 months old when we went to Baby classes) but I really, truly did not think much of it.

I went in for a physical late November, about 2 weeks before I went back to work, and let me say here, that I never went for a physical/check up my entire mat leave.  Big mistake - please go to your doctor 2-3 months postpartum, I realize how important it is now!

So I asked my family doctor to test my thyroid levels because of the drastic weight loss, and wouldn't you know it, my th.yroid levels came back off the charts.  A normal person's T(4) levels would be from 9-23,  and I was charting >65. 

So yes, something was definitely off. I was considered to be in the Hyper.thyroid state.

I was referred to an endocr.inologist, specialist for hormones and also went to get an ultrasound on my thy.roid.  Nothing spectacular was found (thankfully) but there was enough concern of my blood test results that the endo wanted me to do a uptake scan to see how much iodine the thyroid would absorb, thus telling us what the issue was. 

This all took place between mid-Dec to beginning of January. 

I had a very strange suspicion that the reason I was hyperthyroid all of a sudden now was because all throughout my pregnancy (if you recall) I was on a low dosage of Thyroid medication, at the time, prescribed to me by my Auto-immune specialist whom I was seeing for unsuccessful pregnancies.
I don't ever recall being tested throughout my pregnancy but I do recall having enough refills to last me until 30 weeks. 

At the same time I was referred to the endo, I also did some research on my own and found a Naturo.path to take a look at my case and help me look at the causes of this vs. treating the symptoms.  It turns out I did the best thing I ever could for myself because the Naturo I found is honest, straightforward, and very logical in his way of talking to you.  He definitely thought that the catalyst for me going from a slightly under (hypo) thyroid state, that the medication and the pregnancy spun my hormones of out control.  It wasn't until we stopped breastfeeding did the weight start to come off drastically. 

The reason for weight loss in hyperthyroid individuals is because every organ in your system is kicked into high gear, but your thyroid is the one that controls your metabolism, therefore, overworked means high metabolism.  This has also had an adverse effect on my heart.  I had begun to feel slight palpitations about a month or so ago, even when I'm at rest.  Work got so stressful one day that I had to step away from my laptop and lie down on my couch.  Definitely NOT a fun experience. 

So as far as the iodine scan goes,  it turns out that I definitely have the beginning stages of what is called G.rave's Dis.ease.  It's a condition that, untreated, can be severely damage the thyroid to the point of it not working at all any more.  When talking to my naturopath, he says that he is not concerned that I am getting any worse any time soon because I have responded to some detox treatment very quickly already, but that I definitely have to change my diet and eat more of some things and less of others (darn it, chocolate)  I am also taking some natural supplements as well, and now I just need to commit to doing some regular exercise (like yoga, something easy) to help with my stress levels.

I have changed roles at work into something I really love right now so that part is definitely helping,  and overall, I am feeling ok, just the random heart palpitation will remind me that something's off. 

My naturo also said that in some cases, a 2nd pregnancy can even reverse the condition to a normal state, but I am not in a hurry any time soon until I am feeling more energy back and ready to take that plunge into yet another unknown. 

So big sigh and breath.

I'd like to use that whole issue as a reason for me not posting as often anymore but it wouldn't be fair.  I have been exhausted going through a number of tests (again, felt like a lab rat) but me not writing and updating is no excuse. I guess I just wanted to get all the 'facts' first, and lessen the questions raised here, in addition to my own worry in my head. 

I am thinking positive, and this is something I WILL overcome.  I just really hope that there is another rainbow baby in our future but of course, that cannot happen until I am on the path to being healthy again.

Long ramble.....appreciate all of your prayers and support if you can send some my way. Hugs and I miss you ladies very much!