Okay bloggies, I need some thoughts on this one.
I went in for an impromptu visit with my OB today (I say impromptu b/c I was called at 9am this morning as they had a cancellation for this afternoon) - the first time I had seen her since last October.
We reviewed all of the 'next steps' - and the more immediate decision coming up was whether or not to do the IPS screening (NT /prenatal screen). One part of me just wants to do it not because I want to find out the odds - I just want to see Sprout again on the ultrasound to see that s/he is growing on schedule.
IF we decide not to do the screening, I will have to wait until I'm 18 weeks for the big ultrasound to see him/her! Here I am, trying to stay faithful - but the thought of waiting another 6 -7 weeks is freaking me out!
I haven't thought about what we would do with a positive screen result, ie. if I would an amnio or not, but after discussing it with hubby just now, he felt that if it would make me feel better, than to go ahead and book the u/s for next week's screening.
But is this God asking me to have faith? If I do not want to know the results - by doing the ultrasound anyway - is it me showing lack of faith?
bit of a dilemma trying to sort out my thoughts - help!
We did the screening. Since we had already done genetic/chromosomal testing on both my husband and I due to RPL, I knew that my genes were "normal" and my husband's genes were "normal", so the chance of us passing on "normal" genes to the baby (and therefore having "normal" results) were pretty good. But even if we hadn't known those things, I think that it is helpful to know so that one can plan accordingly. It is also a wonderful opportunity to see the baby. Ours was done at 12 weeks, when the baby really starts to look like a "baby". Also, I can totally relate to the "ultrasound vs. faith" debate that is going on in your mind. As I see it, God provided me with a doctor who is willing to see me a couple of extra times to give me some reassurance. At this point, I am trying to lengthen the time in between visits out a bit, but at the beginning, it was such an amazing blessing to see the baby. If you're worried and concerned, it doesn't hurt to mention it to your doctor. When I expressed my concern, my doctor volunteered to see me every two weeks (again--totally blessing). Either way, know that you're doing the right thing. :)
ReplyDeleteI did the screening, because I believe the odds are overwhelmingly likely to bring me reassurance - and if they don't, if the results aren't good, I'd rather be in the position of knowing than not knowing. I'm no expert on the religious question, but from where I stand, wanting to see an ultrasound means that you love your baby, not that you lack faith in God.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby and I decided not to do the screening. We realized that regardless of the results we wouldn't due an amnio so it didn't seem worth it. Also, most of the time the 18-20 wk u/s would reveal any issues. However, we did explain to the midwife how we wanted to see the baby and again and that was the only reason we would. She was nice enough to book one for us at 13 weeks. Perhaps you can give that
ReplyDeleteHere's my opinion, sorry if it's a bit of a downer, but it's the reality I live, and shows another side to things. I will be doing the screening, and most likely be asking for an amnio if necessary. Had I had testing done before my 18 week u/s with Zachary we would have found out earlier that there was a problem, and could have done testing earlier to find out what exactly that problem was. But because we chose not to do the testing & waited so long for u/s, Zachary passed away just before my 18 weeks u/s and caused all the testing to be inconclusive therefore to this day I still have no idea what caused his death and if my future baby could be affected. I know this sounds awful, and I absolutely KNOW it could not and would not have saved his life. But it would have given me clear answers, and also saved me from continuing that many more weeks into a pregnancy that was doomed to end.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you whether you should test or not, it's a very personal decision. I know when I was pregnant with Zachary we chose not to do the testing and now I regret it...but again that's just me. I've had that worst case scenario happen so my view is tainted now. Many women chose not to test, and everything turns out fine. Many women choose to test and everything turns out fine. If there's something wrong, test or no test, you'll eventually find out! So I figure I'll just do it and get it over with so I can sleep better knowing my little one is safe.
I can't help too much on the question of faith, but I do like finch's take on that.
ReplyDeleteWhat I will say is that I have no regrets about doing the screening either time. The first time, with D, everything came back normal, and of course this time we had some very scary weeks of waiting. For us, we just needed to know either way. It's a personal decision of course, but I don't think you should feel bad about whatever decision you make. Seeing the baby again on u/s is a big bonus!!
I didn't do the screening for the NT with Jonathan and I wish I had...not to find out, but just to see the baby again. You kill two birds with one stone. :) See the baby and find out the odds. :)
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