Thursday, August 12, 2010

"Just checking"

Hubby has had a lot of 'contact' now with baby Sprout's movements - he's seen my tummy change shape, been kicked in the head while listening, and has felt Sprout tap dance almost every day. 

Last night, as we were saying our goodnites and sweet dreams, hubby kissed my belly to wish Sprout goodnite and placed his hand there for a while to feel him/her move around.  Sprout must've been settled in nicely because there was nothing for a while. Then DH shook my belly and said - hello in there?  and was swiftly met by a 'stop bugging me!' kick from baby, and subsequent kicks and bobbles afterwards.

Hubby laughed and said "ok, ok - just checking to make sure you're still ok!" and rolled off to sleep. 


As I struggled to find a comfy position to sleep in with my army of pillows, I thought to myself, those two words "just checking" - define what all of us here have gone through in our pregnancies after loss.  The multiple pee sticks, the constant blood draws and rising (or not) betas, the torturous evaluation of TP in the first weeks, the monitoring of symptoms, the first heartbeat ultrasound, the anatomy scan, the GD tests, the fundal height measurements -- all of these "just checking" activities have reassured us and our healthcare practitioners that every thing is progressing as they should.  I admit that I've never fully stopped the idea of "just checking" because I know how fragile life can be and at any moment be taken from us - but the reassuring kicks from Sprout have helped minimize those thoughts as the days and weeks pass by. 

I guess I just didn't realize that DH had those "just checkin" moments too and it made me think just how far we have come, but have yet still to go.  Faith in God has kept me strong through this, but at the same time, I wonder: when we we will ever really stop "checking"?


11 comments:

  1. I think for me the "just checking" moments will get worse after they are here. When I first got my dog, I used to make sure she was breathing in the middle of the night. I'm going to be insane with children!

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  2. Aw, how sweet of your husband. Glad all the "checks" are going well!!

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  3. I'm still "just checking" even after having my baby. I still wake her in the middle of the night just to make sure she's breathing. Sad to say, but infertility scars us forever. :( And when she was in my belly, I would give her a few pokes from time to time to make sure she was ok as well. She now kicks me in the face when we're sleeping. I think it's payback. :)

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  4. W sleeps through the night... but I don't. I get out bed 2-3 times a night to "just check" on him. I like it when he snores because I can stay in bed!

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  5. Thanks for your comment today, isn't it funny (or sad) how both of our last blog entries are us "just checking"! I've been following you too and can't believe you are team green!! Best wishes and lots of prayers for you and sprout!

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  6. You will "just check" until the very end....AND THEN you will "just check" every day of lil sprouts life.♥

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  7. Kicks and wiggles are so amazing. I can't imagine making it through 9 months of pregnancy without this constant reassurance. I agree with the others, though. We'll be just checking for many years to come!

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  8. Great post. As others have said you will continue to "just check" once your little one arrives (but it is far more exciting).

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  9. My baby is now 5 1/2 weeks old. I still roll over at night and put my hand above his nose to make sure he is still breathing. I did it more this past week because the poor guy has a fever of 101, severe congestion and TWO ear infections. I thought once he got here I'd relax, but I am still "just checking"!

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  10. I vividly remember the many, many, many "just checking" moments. Even with D, my three year old, when he naps for an extra long time, I STILL think to myself, "what if something is wrong?" It's just nature. :)

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  11. Doesn't it suck that loss has somewhat tainted our experiences? I often wonder if I would continue to "just check" if I hadn't experienced loss. Don't get me wrong--I do feel like I get to experience this pregnancy to its fullest--and it sounds like you do as well. But I do continue to worry and often find myself "just checking" as well. Hang in there! Praying for you, Sprout, and your placenta!

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