Wednesday, May 12, 2010

14 weeks

Depending on the source, some say you're in the 2T at the 14 week mark, others say 13. But regardless of when, I've been feeling grateful every day to reach this milestone, whether it was technically last week or this.  This week, Sprout is apparently the size of a clenched fist or a peach (insert sense of awe here).

I also didn't get a chance to wish everyone a very happy Mother's day! It's strange going through this Mother's Day knowing there is a little being growing inside of me, and I can't even imagine how next year's Mother's Day will be like after experiencing the joys of becoming a mom myself.  I know it's a hard time for a lot of you lovely ladies out there that are remembering your lost angels and those that are still waiting for good betas, but it will not be long before it will happen for you and I pray that is will be sooner than later.

I am feeling pretty good despite an irritating sinus flare up that started yesterday. I normally have consistent, annoying, allergies year round - so I'm thinking pregnancy has somehow aggravated it even more.  I don't think it's a cold but beyond sneezing and a constant runny, sometimes blocked nose, also a dull headache today. Oh joy.  

Thanks to Laura for posting this on my last entry: 

"..I wanted to share some reassuring words of encouragement that one of my best friends shared with me. She shared that she remembered getting to her second semester and thinking "I feel totally normal! Are you sure I'm still pregnant?!?". This is a woman who had never experienced loss (and this was even before she witnessed my losses), and even she wondered why she wasn't "experiencing" anything. So if you feel "normal"...don't freak out. Rather, try to enjoy the experience of being "okay", and trust that things are happening that you can't see (or feel) quite yet."

Because I have been feeling completely NORMAL and if I didn't know any better, I would have started freaking out and thinking that this is too good to be true.  I am learning to embrace that my body and my baby is still doing what they're supposed to do, and I will just go with that until we get to see Sprout again.   I am most looking forward to hearing the heartbeat for the first time - in our other ultrasounds, the techs always hesitated b/c they mentioned they would have to use a higher frequency tool, etc, so they've all told me to wait until the 18 week/anatomy u/s for that.  

In other news, the general public at work and etc now knows my 'secret'. I have been more and more comfortable talking about it - and I enjoy seeing people's reaction - but then afterwards, it always feels like a big question mark is still hanging over my head, and I wonder if they can see some apprehension in me. Everytime I say, yes I'm pregnant,  I almost always say - so far, so good.  It's like I'm trying to set everyone's expectations or something. 

So a bizarre thing happened to me yesterday.  I ran into an acquaintance (a friend of a friend) - and noticed she had an obvious baby bump (her#2).  We made some small talk and somehow I blurted out 'me too!', startling even me. She wished me congrats, and asked me how far along I was. Here's how the conversation went from there: 

Me:  Oh I'm 14 weeks
Her: Oh, that's still really early 
Me: I guess, but I'm in the second trimester and very happy to be 
Her: You know, a good friend of mine just lost her baby at 12-13 weeks 
Me: Oh, that's terrible - pause. (plus a shocked look on my face - did she just really say that to me?) 
Her: So, is this your first? 
Me: My first child yes, but not pregnancy (again, I was startled at my verbal diarrhea - why was I offering this info to this woman?) 
Her: Oh - you couldn't get pregnant? 
Me: No - it was holding onto the pregnancies 
Her: Oh, I see - that must've been tough
Me: Yes, it was. Well have to run to a meeting- congrats again
Her: Yes you too, I hope everything goes well and wish you all the best. 

Ok so seriously - I would think that a pregnant woman (who btw, I happen to know through my friend that she had a bleeding scare with her current pregnancy) of all people would understand the sensitivity of certain topics? I mean, I've heard and seen everything - but I really didn't expect my pregnancy news to be followed by 'oh did you know' comment.  It really stayed with me the whole day and haunted my thoughts of 'what if's all over again.  I told hubby later that night b/c I think he noticed something was on my mind and he just told me that some people, even before they were pregnant, just have no filter and just say what they want without thinking.  I know this lady didn't have it in her to hurt me or scare me - but I really don't think I'm overly sensitive to what she 'shared'.   

Teaches me to talk to strangers, eh?


  1. Yay to the Second Trimester! That would have been an odd conversation. Some people just don't know when to keep their lips zipped.

  2. I gotta admit I had verbal diarrhea after I lost Jonathan....trying to bring my own doom and gloom. Not proud of it, but it was the bitter side coming out :(

    Yay for second ob says 13 weeks is second. :)

  3. First of all, congrats on "official" second trimester! I felt the same way about not knowing when the "real" line is - but at 14 weeks, there's no disputing it! You're official!!

    As for what that woman said, I can't imagine what possessed her to say it, and I hope she's having some MAJOR conversation regret now. She should be wondering what in the world made her blurt that out! It's not like you told her about your pregnancy when you were 5 weeks along! This one is your keeper. Please don't let her ruin your week.

    Enjoy your lack of symptoms. The second trimester is the best part of pregnancy!! No more morning sickness (for most people) and lots of energy. You deserve to celebrate!! *hugs*

  4. Hooray for the second trimester! That is awesome!

    I hope your sinus problems go away!

  5. Congrats on the 2nd tri!! I am so happy for you. Believe it or not I ran into the same types of conversations. One lady at my church went into detail about how she almost lost her son at birth and a plethora of other terrible stories. And she knew about my losses!! People really just don't think!!

  6. Egh, what an awful thing for that woman to say to you - not very aware, is she? Dumb. I'm so sorry it left you feeling worried :( But you're right what you said - you're feeling normal and it's okay to be happy and be content to trust that everything is going well in there! Enjoy it - happy 2T!!!!!

  7. I agree with your husband. And I like to think that after she walked away from that conversation she had enough sense to feel HORRIBLE about saying what she did. Honestly, perhaps 14 weeks is early when compared to, you know, full term. But it's not early. By any definition of pregnancy, it's not early.

    And you are into the 2nd trimester!! I'm so thrilled for you and your peach!!

  8. yup that'll learn ya! he he

    Don't worry about what others stupidly say. You've heard it all before, and you know what can go wrong. We just have to ignore the risks and hope for the best. You have survived so much, just focus on the good like you have done up until this point.

  9. Happy 2nd trimester! I always dread those conversations. Even hubbies have a hard time going thru them. I run into this all the time but just forget their comments and hold onto the hope and promise God gives. One time my hubby was asked, is this your first? And just because he didn't know them well and didn't want to go thru the whole spiel of explaining bc it's complicated. He said yes. But afterwards told me he felt guilty bc he does and always will consider our son to be our first. Hang in there!

  10. Yeah for the 2nd trimester!! And I'm so glad you are feeling good! I hope it continues! Keep hanging in there - you have reached a huge milestone!!!

  11. What a dink. Please don't listen to her - you have a healthy peach growing in there, one who's even being considerate enough to let you feel normal again. Happy 2nd trimester (again).

  12. Ugh, that's just sick. How rude is she?! YOU didn't have verbal diarrhea...SHE did! I know how hard it is to let things like that just roll off your back...easier said than done. But good to see you're doing well and staying positive as always. I wish you can just rub off on me a little bit. haha. Besides extremely hormonal outburts and crying fests - I feel pefectly normal too!

  13. I waited until 14 weeks to truly celebrate the second trimester as well. But like you said, either way--YOU'RE THERE! Welcome! I'm glad that my comment (or actually, my friend's comment) brought you peace. Just imagine--the next thing you get to look forward to (in addition to the ultrasound at 18 weeks) is the kicks. They are amazing! Take care!

  14. Woah that is one insensitive aquaintance! What was she thinking? Here you are being honest and open, and she's not doing a good job of handling it at all. In fact I wonder if she might have gone away and kicked herself for being such a dolt!

    There's a bit of expectation management I find in being pregnant after loss, especially multiple loss. We've experienced losses too and are pretty sensitive about our current pregnancy going ok (which it seems to be so far yay!) But that's the thing - like you say you add on 'so far so good', I just did it right there without thinking! I probably do it all the time. I guess it's maybe a way of protecting ourselves a bit, and other people too. Like for letting strangers know it's time to be a bit sensitive with their comments!!!

  15. Congrats on entering the 2nd trimster. You are doing the right thing with your thinking even though at times it must be hard. Enjoy and embrace the present and try not to think much beyond this moment. As far as your conversation with the friend of a friend, some women just don't know when to NOT say certain things, even when they might have been through a similar experience. Just keep doing what you doing and don't put too much energy and time into what others say. Just be thankful for this wonderful gift of life you are carrying. Keep positive thoughts. God Bless.

  16. Hi--me again. I forgot to mention that we didn't actually hear the heartbeat at our anatomy scan. We definitely saw it (I admit that's the first place where I look!), but in order to audibly hear it, they have to bounce the sound waves back into the uterus, which can "upset" the baby. It's not necessarily in a "bad" way--it just can startle the baby. They actually did this to try to wake our baby up in our Ultrascreen at 12 weeks when she was totally asleep and not moving to the position that they needed. The tech seemed "hesitant" to do so, and only did so for a few moments. It is definitely a cool sound, but I think that the fluttering image is just as beautiful. Just a thought (though it sounds like every office is different in some sort of way).

  17. Yay for the secon trimester! I don't know why that person would ever say something like that. Some people just don't think.