14 weeks

Depending on the source, some say you're in the 2T at the 14 week mark, others say 13. But regardless of when, I've been feeling grateful every day to reach this milestone, whether it was technically last week or this.  This week, Sprout is apparently the size of a clenched fist or a peach (insert sense of awe here).

I also didn't get a chance to wish everyone a very happy Mother's day! It's strange going through this Mother's Day knowing there is a little being growing inside of me, and I can't even imagine how next year's Mother's Day will be like after experiencing the joys of becoming a mom myself.  I know it's a hard time for a lot of you lovely ladies out there that are remembering your lost angels and those that are still waiting for good betas, but it will not be long before it will happen for you and I pray that is will be sooner than later.

I am feeling pretty good despite an irritating sinus flare up that started yesterday. I normally have consistent, annoying, allergies year round - so I'm thinking pregnancy has somehow aggravated it even more.  I don't think it's a cold but beyond sneezing and a constant runny, sometimes blocked nose, also a dull headache today. Oh joy.  

Thanks to Laura for posting this on my last entry: 


"..I wanted to share some reassuring words of encouragement that one of my best friends shared with me. She shared that she remembered getting to her second semester and thinking "I feel totally normal! Are you sure I'm still pregnant?!?". This is a woman who had never experienced loss (and this was even before she witnessed my losses), and even she wondered why she wasn't "experiencing" anything. So if you feel "normal"...don't freak out. Rather, try to enjoy the experience of being "okay", and trust that things are happening that you can't see (or feel) quite yet."

Because I have been feeling completely NORMAL and if I didn't know any better, I would have started freaking out and thinking that this is too good to be true.  I am learning to embrace that my body and my baby is still doing what they're supposed to do, and I will just go with that until we get to see Sprout again.   I am most looking forward to hearing the heartbeat for the first time - in our other ultrasounds, the techs always hesitated b/c they mentioned they would have to use a higher frequency tool, etc, so they've all told me to wait until the 18 week/anatomy u/s for that.  

In other news, the general public at work and etc now knows my 'secret'. I have been more and more comfortable talking about it - and I enjoy seeing people's reaction - but then afterwards, it always feels like a big question mark is still hanging over my head, and I wonder if they can see some apprehension in me. Everytime I say, yes I'm pregnant,  I almost always say - so far, so good.  It's like I'm trying to set everyone's expectations or something. 


So a bizarre thing happened to me yesterday.  I ran into an acquaintance (a friend of a friend) - and noticed she had an obvious baby bump (her#2).  We made some small talk and somehow I blurted out 'me too!', startling even me. She wished me congrats, and asked me how far along I was. Here's how the conversation went from there: 


Me:  Oh I'm 14 weeks
Her: Oh, that's still really early 
Me: I guess, but I'm in the second trimester and very happy to be 
Her: You know, a good friend of mine just lost her baby at 12-13 weeks 
Me: Oh, that's terrible - pause. (plus a shocked look on my face - did she just really say that to me?) 
Her: So, is this your first? 
Me: My first child yes, but not pregnancy (again, I was startled at my verbal diarrhea - why was I offering this info to this woman?) 
Her: Oh - you couldn't get pregnant? 
Me: No - it was holding onto the pregnancies 
Her: Oh, I see - that must've been tough
Me: Yes, it was. Well have to run to a meeting- congrats again
Her: Yes you too, I hope everything goes well and wish you all the best. 


Ok so seriously - I would think that a pregnant woman (who btw, I happen to know through my friend that she had a bleeding scare with her current pregnancy) of all people would understand the sensitivity of certain topics? I mean, I've heard and seen everything - but I really didn't expect my pregnancy news to be followed by 'oh did you know' comment.  It really stayed with me the whole day and haunted my thoughts of 'what if's all over again.  I told hubby later that night b/c I think he noticed something was on my mind and he just told me that some people, even before they were pregnant, just have no filter and just say what they want without thinking.  I know this lady didn't have it in her to hurt me or scare me - but I really don't think I'm overly sensitive to what she 'shared'.   

Teaches me to talk to strangers, eh?