All the signs this month pointed to it. I was so sure. My cycle lately has been anywhere from 26-28 days (My regular cycle has always been 28) - so yesterday when CD26 came and went without no signs of AF showing up - I let myself hope just a little bit more than the day before. I debated over and over with myself this morning whether or not I should test or just wait until at least CD29.
I don't know why I thought it would make me feel better to know now vs. in a few days - but this week has just been crazy in my mind thinking 'am I or aren't I' so I decided to sacrifice my last hpt (from the box from my 3rd bfp in Sept) and go for it.
I stuffed the test in one of the drawers in my washroom and brushed my teeth and washed my face with such fervor and determination as I was preparing myself how to deal with a + or a - .
Hubby came in soon after and was going about shaving and I told him that I had taken The Test and asked him whether or not he would look with me.
So we took a deep breath and pulled open the drawer together. My heart never sank so deep as it did this morning. Staring at that lonely line was so disheartening and whatever hopes I had for this month plummeted to a "how could you be so stupid to let yourself think this was going to be it?" feeling.
I was so sure.
Technically, if you remember - the dr. said to hold off on bd'ing until we find out what the results were but we weren't 'not' trying and if I think back to all the times we did the deed - it would have been perfect timing. So what happened?
I was so sure.
So now we wait to see when AF decides to show up and torment me again. And Monday is just around the corner so I guess that's something to look forward to.
Argh!
Bummer! I've had those "so sure" months as well (most recently November). I'm so sorry. I'm praying for comfort as you prepare for Monday's appointment. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry! I hope you'll get good news soon. For what it's worth, I was supposed to start on day 26. I had three negative home pregnancy tests before I finally got a positive on day 31. So far, everything is still going well! Sending happy thoughts your way...
ReplyDeleteCrap, I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the letdown. Seeing that stupid negative is always the worst. And it's as if AF knows that you are optimistic and plays tricks with you. Only 5 days until your results appt and then you will really get to try.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry! I know how frustrating that is. Took us 7 months to get PG again after my last miscarriage. But now that this PG is going so good I think of it as maybe a blessing. My body was finally waiting for my sticky lil pea!
ReplyDeleteGood luck @ your appt. and can't wait to hear what they have to say for you.
Oh man, I'm so sorry. I've been there and know exactly. I pray you have a great upcoming appointment and get some answers.
ReplyDeleteArgh! I hate when all the signs point in the right direction and then it's a big let-down. :(
ReplyDeletesucky! So sorry.
ReplyDeleteArgh! Bummer. HATE when that happens. Sorry, Wendy... :( :( :(
ReplyDeleteWendy, not trying to give you false hope, but they say you shouldn't POAS till you are a week late. I know I never had much luck with urine tests so I always have blood tests done in the doc office. Just something to think about if AF doesn't arrive. *hugs* Thinking of you.
ReplyDelete