If I were a major league baseball pitcher, I would be happy. But instead, I am drained, numb, disappointed and sad. This is how I have been feeling for the past 24 hours. I started spotting brown Monday night, before going to bed. By Tuesday morning, the brown turned to red. I had to go into work yesterday because I had a few face to face meetings that I could not miss due to a big event I am running tomorrow and Friday. But then it started, at work no less. Dull cramps (not painful like my other 2 m/c) but clots passing. I feared the worst. I know the worst.
I called my OB office and left a vm and they immediately called me back. My OB still wants me to do my blood draw today and then come in to see her on Monday.
I went home early yesterday after my meetings and just changed into my flannel pj's and curled up on the couch with some herbal tea. Absorbed myself in whatever was on TV until my hubby came home and the floodgates opened. I cried but I did not wail. Just hot tears running down my face in disbelief that we are back at this point again. I am just so heartbroken.
My hubby was great, as always - but how many times can we go through this until it has a happy ending?
I am numb, I want to cry but I have no more energy left.
I just need to get through this week with my work commitments and then I need to crawl into bed and sleep for days.
Thank you all for your prayers and support during my brief week and a half that I knew I was pregnant.
I gave this pregnancy over to God the day I found out, but again, I guess he had better plans for us.
I'll find out the results of the blood draw tomorrow, but I already know what they will be.