Tuesday, September 1, 2009

September, month nine, nine months

So September is here. It marks the end of summer, end of warm evenings (albeit not so warm this summer here) and BBQs. It also marks the month that I would have been excitedly counting down the days to welcome a baby boy or girl into our lives from pregnancy #1. I didn't think this 'EDD' would have come so soon, but I guess that's what happens when you're not pregnant and not doing 'the countdown'.

It just sort of creeps up on you, and when I flipped my hanging calendar at work today, it just hit me. I've come a long way since then, I know, but this month was supposed to be joyous, and supposed to bring us a new baby to love and a new beginning. As the leaves are starting to change colour (I saw red leaves this morning on the way to work!) and the daylight is getting shorter, it just makes me sad feeling that I am no where near that joyous time of our lives just yet.

There is still so much hope for this month, I am not charting or anything fancy, just going with my 'magic days' that I know now based on the last two times we were successful. I started on baby aspirin a few weeks ago, and have doubled up my folic acid of no reason other than it can't hurt and I feel like I have to do something. I have my follow up dr.'s appt this Thursday to review the results of the bloodwork we did last Monday---I'm a bit apprehensive but dying to know if anything is out of sorts that we can address and fix for the next time. I think I might be hoping too much that something is wrong, which of course I don't want but at the same time, will give me a reason why it happened twice. I'm debating whether or not I should push for an HSG if there is 'no result' from the tests -- I'm leaning towards a yes..

September is here and I am accepting it. I don't have to like it but hopefully next year, this time, things will be different. For the better. :)

6 comments:

  1. Hey Wendy, Fall is coming waaaay too soon. Sorry you're not celebrating the birth of your first baby, these milestones are not easy. You have a good attitude though, so cheers to your magic days! I saw you were contemplating an HSG test. My advice (if you want it) is to go ahead and push to get one. There's no use in waiting, you'll know for sure if all is well in your uterus, then you can check that off your list of worries. Best of luck ttc again, I'm rooting for you :)

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  2. yup, you know I'm all about pushing for that HSG. I hope you get some helpful info when you get the results, even if its to say you're perfectly healthy and normal, at least you can cross that off your investigation list. I remember when I hit my 1st and 2nd EDD (2/19 and 4/19 this year). I didn't want to make a big deal about them b/c it was too depressing, but it was weird to think that I could have been giving birth around those times. It was hard to imagine at the time b/c I was not pregnant and just recenlty pregnant for both dates. Your time will come for a real EDD with a live bebe soon! We all know, you can get pregnant and probably pretty easily too!

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  3. I'm slowly approaching my first EDD (10/14) and am really not looking forward to it. Just thought I would be pregnant again which wouldn't make it painless but definitely easier. I see you are contemplating an HSG. I got an SHG which some studies suggest shows more and it is less painful. You can check this out if you want more info. http://www.gfmer.ch/Medical_education_En/PGC_RH_2006/Reviews/pdf/Zulqarnain_2006.pdf
    Good luck with everything. You are in my prayers.

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  4. I can totally understand where u are coming from and I am sorry. My due date is almost here also, september 12th. And I can't believe it took until just this month to get PG. And I REALLY hope that things work with this PG or that day is going to be just that much harder. What was your due date if you dont mind me asking?
    I hope that things come back good with your blood work but also understand you almost wanting them to find something just so you can that can maybe be fixed so you never miscarry again.
    I had a Saline Sonogram which is similar so I say get the HSG. Can't hurt anything, can only help ease your mind.
    Good luck with whatever you decide. Thinking of you.

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  5. Wendy--thanks for stopping by my blog, and for your kind note. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you throughout the month of September (and the months to follow). Our first EDD was in April (Palm Sunday, to be exact). It was painful, but God carried me through. Hang in there!

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