So September is here. It marks the end of summer, end of warm evenings (albeit not so warm this summer here) and BBQs. It also marks the month that I would have been excitedly counting down the days to welcome a baby boy or girl into our lives from pregnancy #1. I didn't think this 'EDD' would have come so soon, but I guess that's what happens when you're not pregnant and not doing 'the countdown'.
It just sort of creeps up on you, and when I flipped my hanging calendar at work today, it just hit me. I've come a long way since then, I know, but this month was supposed to be joyous, and supposed to bring us a new baby to love and a new beginning. As the leaves are starting to change colour (I saw red leaves this morning on the way to work!) and the daylight is getting shorter, it just makes me sad feeling that I am no where near that joyous time of our lives just yet.
There is still so much hope for this month, I am not charting or anything fancy, just going with my 'magic days' that I know now based on the last two times we were successful. I started on baby aspirin a few weeks ago, and have doubled up my folic acid of no reason other than it can't hurt and I feel like I have to do something. I have my follow up dr.'s appt this Thursday to review the results of the bloodwork we did last Monday---I'm a bit apprehensive but dying to know if anything is out of sorts that we can address and fix for the next time. I think I might be hoping too much that something is wrong, which of course I don't want but at the same time, will give me a reason why it happened twice. I'm debating whether or not I should push for an HSG if there is 'no result' from the tests -- I'm leaning towards a yes..
September is here and I am accepting it. I don't have to like it but hopefully next year, this time, things will be different. For the better. :)